Don’t get sucked into the “if they really cared I wouldn’t have to say something” spiral. No matter how close you are with someone, it’s unfair to expect them to know things you haven’t actually communicated.
hard pill to swallow: the idea that your ‘soulmate’ or ‘the one’ will know exactly how to make you happy without you ever having to communicate is fake. the fantasy that you will have all your needs met in a relationship without ever having to be vulnerable is fundamentally not true. sometimes you have to express your needs and desires, you have to ask for things, you have to communicate how you want to be loved, it’s uncomfortable and clumsy but relationships are about learning to love each other not being a mind reader
please keep in mind that learning is always a process. learning to draw, dance, play an instrument, but also learning to say no, learning to start conversations, learning to be more comfortable in your own skin. it’s great setting goals for yourself, as long as you allow yourself to get there gradually instead of immediately wanting to be the best at it (and setting unrealistic standards for yourself because of it). change is rarely a single moment during which everything suddenly shifts, but rather a period of time in which you learn and adjust and improve. you’ll get there, but you must give yourself time to do so.
it’s so easy to deny yourself basic things, like food and sleep, in order to punish yourself. but you deserve better. you deserve tasty foods that make you smile, to sleep in and go to bed early, to be warm and cozy. you never have to “earn” that. you deserve all of that and more just by existing. you’re allowed to be kind to yourself. kindess is brave.
Most people want you to speak up when you’re uncomfortable. Most people don’t want you to suffer in silence. Most people want to know if they hurt you so that they can apologize and learn. Don’t let a toxic relationship convince you that your boundaries aren’t worth mentioning cause the majority of people don’t want to hurt you and want a chance to fix it if they do.
the thing abt diet culture is that there’s no way any junk food could possibly be more self destructive than viewing your own body as not only a separate entity from yourself but as an enemy to be conquered
fuck it. be creative even if you never really *make* anything. write out plot synopses of stories and then move on. design OCs you’ll never use. make mood boards and concept art and don’t do anything with them. life’s too short to forget everything that inspired you and creation doesn’t have to be “complete” to be worth the time you put into it.
